Fatherlessness is an epidemic happening in our society at great rates. So many families are without a father that is present but there are families that have a physical father and even though they are physically present, they are emotionally absent. Take a listen to this podcast to see what the negative result can be for you if you have been fatherless. But listen to the end because there is good news with healing for those wounds that were inflicted.
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I’d Prefer to Read Your Message!
Last week I wrote about God’s plan or purpose for your life and if you were wondering what that purpose might be. I discussed one of the ways you might be able to define your purpose, if you were unsure because it is important to know what it is and move into it.
If you have not had a chance to read that message, here it is in my Blog post.
Today, though, I’d like to expand on it a little further and talk with you about perhaps a reason why you might be questioning what it is. We all have or had careers but having a career or a job does not necessarily mean you are walking in what God has created you to walk in. Sometimes we take jobs because it pays the bills and there is nothing wrong with that.
But there does come a point in our lives where we feel this void or emptiness in our soul and nothing, we do can seem to fill it. Could it possibly be that you have a calling to do something and you have not yet moved into it?
So Sad For This Husband!
I remember listening to a teaching from a Pastor who shared a story of some ministry time he had with a couple. They were struggling in their marriage, and the man was full of anger and in a state of depression and couldn’t seem to get beyond it. This Pastor asked him, “Was there something in your life you felt called to do but didn’t do it?” The wife spoke up and said, “I can answer that. When we first married, he wanted to be a lawyer, but I told him I would not stay with him if he chose that path.” That ultimatum moved him into anger and depression.
Well first off how mean of her to put an ultimatum on what he was feeling called to do. Secondly, he chose not to move into that God calling to I guess save his marriage. But did it save his marriage?
Do you feel a void in your life that there is something more you are to do but you cannot put your finger on it? Is there an emptiness in your soul and you’ve been trying to fill it but all the things you have tried is just not working?
Perhaps you are not walking in what you were called to be or do. Sometimes we can have a sense of what we were called into but just like the man you let other’s sway you from moving into that calling.
Did Someone Sway You From Your Calling?
I know I did and I remember it like it just happened. Sadly, I have the clearest image of my father shaming me into what I felt was my destiny. I wanted to be a teacher. When I was younger, I ate, slept and played being a teacher. That was my heart’s desire. I was perhaps in about 10th grade, sitting in the living room on the piano bench. My father was standing behind the recliner in the dining room. I told him I wanted to go to school to be a teacher. He started screaming and swearing at me that I was going to go to school, pay all that money and NOT GET A JOB!
How mean was that? Yes, they were reporting that teachers were in abundance at that time, but that was then. It would take me 2 more years of high school, 4 years of college and perhaps grad school. Things would be better by then, I’m sure. But I let him shame me into not fulfilling my heart’s desire. Did you have something similar in your life? It’s never too late to change course directions and have a “FRESH START.” It might take some planning and some sacrifices but if you put your mind to it, you can make it happen if you want it badly enough.
There could be another scenario!
But there is another scenario you could be experiencing and that is NOT knowing what you were called to be or do. Because you see it is the father’s responsibility to help their child get a sense of self-worth, identity and purpose. If your father wasn’t present, then he could not help moving you into that place of confidence, purpose and identity.
Or he could have been physically present but emotionally abandoned you. That was my situation. My dad was physically there but he was emotionally gone. I don’t hate him or hold it against him. I have forgiven him. But there are times in my heart I wish I had a dad that helped move me into adult hood.
It is said that a man must invest in their children by the age of 12. Otherwise, the child’s heart will close, and they will begin to build a stone wall around their heart. They then become angry because of the lack of affirmation and direction.
Have you been fatherless either physically, emotionally or both?
What are some of the signs or symptoms one may experience by being fatherless? Look at what Denise Boggs has to say about being fatherlessness:
- You feel you have no purpose for life.
- Having a clear direction what you should be doing is not there.
- At times you will tend to be a performer; you are doing whatever is needed to be accepted by those around you.
- You tend to have little or no identity.
- Because you are unable to get settled anywhere for a long period of time, you become a wander.
Is that you? I know I have dwelt with those symptoms above, but the great news is we don’t need to stay there. And the greater news is we don’t need to go back to our earthly fathers to have them “repair” what they damaged. For some of us, our dad is not even alive and for others he would still be incapable of helping you.
This is one of the reasons that I wrote my book “Can I Have Your Heart … Daddy?” I wasn’t searching or seeking my earthly father’s heart. He was incapable of giving it. It was the heart of my Heavenly Father that I was seeking. Of course, the answer to that question is always yes. He will never abandon us nor ever leave us. When Jesus was preparing to be crucified, He told His disciples,
“I promise that I will never leave you helpless or abandon you as
orphans – I will come back to you?” John 14:18
Were the Disciples Orphans?
The disciples were not orphans. They had earthly fathers. What they needed was a relationship with their Heavenly Father and unless we pursue that relationship, we will be orphans. Our Heavenly Father will heal those wounds that your earthly father may have inflicted on you. He will heal those wounds to a place like nothing ever happened. It’s not a “band-aid” per se He will put on your wound but a complete healing that doesn’t even have a scar.
Spend some quiet time and reflect on what I just wrote. If you fall into any of those scenarios, then reach out to your Father in Heaven. And if you don’t have a relationship with Him, then begin now. It’s never too late for a “Fresh Start!”
Your Spiritual Life and Health Coach … believing in you!
Please share this message with someone you know who needs to be encouraged!