Have you lost something important in your life that has kept you in afraid, unmotivated and paralyzed? Then you are in the right place. Today I want to talk to you about finding your voice? Let’s get started.
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Welcome friends Regina Sanchez, Spiritual Life & Health Coach. I’m so glad you are here to listen to my Podcast Giving You a Fresh Start After Trauma. Don’t we all need a fresh start from time to time?
Last week I wrote about “Whose Voice or Message are You Listening to?” If you missed that message you can read it or listen to the Podcast at this link.
What he said almost knocked me over.
I remember 20 years ago when I was going through my divorce (I cannot believe it was that long ago), I was having a conversation with my friend’s husband. He prayed with me a lot and this particular day I was updating him on the status of all the court stuff. He was quiet for a few minutes and then said to me, “You have grown so much since I met you many years back.” He then said …
“You have found your voice!”
Having him say that to me was so profound and impactful that when he said those words to me, if I wasn’t sitting on my bed, I might have fallen over. I had found my voice. It was such a sense of freedom. I was able to speak up for myself and not allow my ex, the courts or even my own lawyer try to make decisions for me and my children.
My abuse caused me to lose my voice.
You see when you are abused as a child you tend to lose your voice because you tend to lose who you are. Your identify is enmeshed in trying to be someone you were perhaps not meant to be. I always tried to be a “good girl.” Now being a good child is not a bad trait. But be good because that is the right way to live. You see I wanted to be a good girl so I wouldn’t get abused. I navigated my life to fit into what other people needed at the time and frankly their needs changed frequently.
We lose our voice when we are not allowed to speak up for ourselves and when we cannot express how we feel whether it’s good, bad or indifferent. There were times I tried to tell my uncle how verbally abusive my father was being to me and how upset I was. I was probably about 10 years old. It fell on deaf ears. He just walked away. He didn’t even give me comfort, support or a hug. It shut my voice down. Why bother I thought. No one will do anything.
Have you lost your voice?
Do you find it hard to express yourself and communicate what you are feeling or desiring? We may tolerate it and live with it year after year but it’s not healthy. We must express what we are feeling but we also must be careful with whom we do that with. They must be safe.
Sometimes when we finally find our voice, we share everything with everyone and that is not good either. We go from being silenced to being overly vocal. Finding balance is the key and as I said finding a safe person to share your voice with is critical.
But you know having a voice just doesn’t mean you now can express your internal emotions. It’s also means you communicate your desires and wants. Did you ever have someone say to you, “Where would you like to go for dinner?” Inside you are thinking of some places that you’d like to eat at but since you “don’t have a voice,” your response is “I don’t care you choose.” But inside you are thinking of places you would like to go and eat at. That is not having a voice. It’s letting others make decisions for you.
How did you lose your voice?
- Were you not allowed as a child to express yourself?
- When you started to cry you were told to stop?
- Did you experience abuse?
- Were your parents controlling?
- Did it seem that all decisions were made for you?
- Finally, are you a woman that was taught to be “submissive?”
I’d love for you to share how you may have lost your voice.
Getting your voice back is important for the overall health of your body. Stuffing things in our body is not healthy because what you stuffed is percolating and wanting to be heard or expressed.
How do you get it back?
- Try to get to the root of when and how it was taken away.
- If it was a specific issue or circumstance, face it head on. Confront someone if they participated in taking your voice away. They may not agree, nor may they apologize. But you at least expressed yourself and faced a trauma head on.
- Pray and tell the Father you want your voice back and for Him to be your strength for stepping out to get it.
- Walk through the trauma that took it away. Do the opposite of what you always did. For example, someone asks you where you want to go for dinner, and you tell them. That’s a simple example. Sometimes they can be harder to walk through, but they are not impossible.
- Get some support to help you find your voice and help you release it in a healthy way.
- Look at who you are and determine if you are the person, you really want to be or has the taking of your voice made you invisible. Know that in the end …
“It’s easier to be who you are than to be something you are not!”
Sometimes you just need to find who that something is!
Friends don’t walk this journey alone.
If you are struggling with finding your voice once again or even for the first time, seek some support. There is such freedom in finally releasing your voice and having the confidence that you can speak truth no matter what others may say or think.
As I wrap up this Podcast, I want to share with you something that I will be releasing soon. I am putting together a guide called Your Journey to Wholeness (God wants you well). It will be a guide talking about healing and it being God’s will. I will also share with you what to stay away from as far as chemicals are concerned in the food you eat, what you put on your body and what you are cleaning your home with. You will learn how to detox your home to create a home that is safe to live in. So be on the lookout for this guide and I’ll update you along the way.
And as always. Please share this message with someone you know who needs to be encouraged! Lastly, leave a comment and give it a like if you enjoyed it and gleaned from valuable encouragement.
I Love you and the Father loves you. Thanks for listening. God bless!
Your Spiritual Life & Health Coach … believing in you!