Are you always running from situations or procrastinating doing things that are long overdue getting done? Do you keep trying to get out of this state but every time you try, you only fail at it. Could you be in a state that you seem to be comfortable with on one hand but hate it on the other. Perhaps you are in the Flight Mode? Take a listen to this Podcast to help propel you into a place of freedom and success.
I Prefer to Read Your Message
“Horses are prey animals. Their instincts are fight or flight. You are a bit like that. You need to stop fleeing and get a little more of that fight in you. I know it’s in you. I’ve seen it.” From the TV Show Heartland
I love that statement above from the show Heartland. Heartland was a show about a horse farm. I’m not a horse lover per se but I loved the show. It actually caused me to think “I could live on a horse farm.” Too funny. That will never happen.
This statement was said to one of the characters that had dwelt with trauma in her life and she kept trying to move on from it. Every time something came up in her life that triggered that “unhealed” trauma she would flee. It was now a time in her life that she needed to fight. She needed to fight for her life to be free. It wasn’t a physical fight but a fight with the demons inside of her causing her to always run. She need to fight against the voice inside her that told her she couldn’t make it; couldn’t do it and the best thing she could do would be run.
What happens when you have unhealed trauma?
I don’t know about you but boy I’ve been there. When you have been traumatized, and it is not healed it causes you to have so many emotions, thoughts, and realities to what you do in life that are not always in your best interest. Fleeing sometimes is necessary but if it’s your “go to” answer every time difficulty arises or hard things need to be done, then perhaps you need to address that trauma and give it to the Lord to be healed.
Does this in anyway describe you? Are you one that feels stuck and no matter how much you try to move forward you just can’t get there? Perhaps you are stuck in the “flight” mode.
When danger is in front of us, our cortisol will increase and give us the strength to either flight or fight.
So, what is being out of balance in the flight mode?
- Every time you try to work on a task that is difficult, you flee. You put it down and tell yourself you will get to it later.
- If you need to deal with a challenge you are having with a person, instead of confronting it you run from it and ignore them.
- You procrastinate dealing with a project that causes you emotional distress.
- When you try to work on the project, you just move it from one place to another instead of spending time on it and just getting it done.
- You wait for others to give you permission to start living your own life because you keep running from it and don’t know how to slow down.
What is the first step that you need to take to move beyond the flight mode and begin to fight?
Decide!
Decide you are no longer going to run away from what has you stressed, anxious or upset. Now mind you I’m not telling you to get in a physical or emotional fight with a person if you are having an issue with them. What I am saying is put some “fight” inside yourself to fight against what keeps causing you to flee.
So, what are steps to move you away from fleeing?
- Ask the Lord to be your strength to help you put one foot in front of the other to keep moving forward.Pray for His Grace. There is power in prayer.
- Start building trust and confidence in yourself that you are going to do the things you say you will do.
- Stop being deceived by your feelings. Remember they are only feelings and those feeling may not be true but imbalanced.
Feelings are indicators. They are not meant to be drivers!
- Don’t let what happened to you have you!Don’t let the trauma or pain cause your identity. “I’m just too weak to do that. I’m too afraid to confront so and so. Every time I start that project; I get so sad, and I stop. I’m just too depressed.”
- Don’t avoid feeling something you’ve experienced in your past.Confront it and make peace with it and move forward. As my therapist would always say to me as I was confronting abusive memories, “Stay with it Regina. Remember these are just the memories they are not the physical act.”
Sometimes no matter the pain we want to stay exactly the same for as long as possible. Standing perfectly still feels better somehow than taking a step and making a change. Because you see if you are suffering and choosing to stay there, at least the pain is familiar. If you take a leap of faith to make a change, move outside the box and do something unexpected who knows what other pain might be waiting for you. That can feel very scary.
You might think that there is a chance that it could be worse.
So, you decide to maintain the status quo and use the road you have traveled on for a while. You begin to rationalize that it doesn’t seem that bad as far as emotional pain goes and begin to make excuses for staying there. “It’s not that bad. Things could be worse. I really don’t need to deal with it right now. I’m a good person. I mean I’m not an addict or I haven’t killed anyone … well except maybe yourself a little.”
Yes, making changes can be hard. It can be challenging to get into the fight mode so you can fight against what is holding you back. But think about the amount of energy you are expending to keep the painful status quo.
Lastly know that when you finally do choose to take a step towards change it doesn’t happen like an earthquake or an explosion where suddenly you are a different person. It can be a gradual change. It could be that people wouldn’t notice unless they looked really close at you.
But you notice it and that’s all that matters. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. You feel the freedom. Your body is not in emotional pain any longer. You then begin to hope that this is the person you will be forever and that you will never have to change again. You might feel that for a time, but the reality is change is always happening.
Once you experience this change, you will have the courage to keep focusing on the issues in your life that need healing or need change, and you will have that courage to make those changes. Because when you are free … you are free indeed!
I’m here always believing in you!
Your Spiritual Life & Health Coach … believing in you.
Please share this message with someone you know who needs to be encouraged!