Here is your 2nd of 8 tips on helping you “reframe your thinking.” Remember it will take a conscious effort to do this. It’s doesn’t just magically happen … which is what I always wished would be.
Tip #2 …
Have Dreams Over Doubts!
I don’t know about you but for a very long time I was having a hard time dreaming for something in my life and holding onto that dream. Growing up I had one dream that I would dream about day after day, night after night. I had this dream for years and it vividly played in my mind.
Hungered for Love!
Hungering all my life for love caused me to try to find and create it myself. As a little girl I would dream of growing up, marrying a tall dark and handsome man and have a family. My child like mind would fantasize my tall dark and handsome husband coming downstairs to the kitchen dressed in a shirt and tie carrying his briefcase going off to work. I’d be sitting at the kitchen table with my sweet, beautiful daughter in her highchair and I would be feeding her. He’d kiss us good-bye and off to work he’d go. My life was sweet and beautiful. That was my dream night after night as I tried to put myself to sleep.
Because of my abuse, I felt safe in my mind – and created this dream. I lived in “created” memories and fantasies. Now having that dream was not bad nor wrong. That dream, that fantasy was something I was able to hold onto with a sense of hope for what I could have in the future. The problem was I left something out of the equation. I tried to have that dream fulfilled in my own way with my own strength.
Did I have that dream fulfilled?
Did I have that dream fulfilled? Partially. I did have a tall dark and handsome husband. He did go to work in a shirt and tie and was carrying a briefcase. I even had a beautiful daughter that was the joy of my life. But that’s where it ended. My life was NOT sweet and beautiful. It was painful, sad, chaotic, abusive at times and truly not the vision I so desired.
Now because my dream ended so badly should I now allow doubt to come into my life and think I will never have that dream? No. There is no reason to let the bad decisions I made cause me to live a life of doubt and not dream again. I had much trauma that needed healing before I could trust myself dreaming again.
We should never stop dreaming.
What dreams do you have in your life that are not fulfilled yet? Don’t give up on them or allow doubt to come into play to cause you to give up.
“The greatest tragedy is not death,
but life without purpose.”
Don’t Stop Dreaming!
Don’t allow yourself to stop dreaming and move into doubt. One cannot live in doubt and faith at the same time. But it is a choice you must make. If you been holding onto a dream and it hasn’t come true for you and you feel like giving up, then maybe the following suggestions will help.
- Determine if this is truly a dream you want to hold onto. Maybe it was a dream that was put upon you by someone else.
- If you determine that you really are passionate about this dream, then reach out for some support, guidance and wisdom in helping to make this dream come true.
- Lay out a plan for this dream.Give yourself measurable steps in making it happen. For example, let’s say you do have a dream to be married and have a family. Perhaps one of the steps you can take is to put yourself in places where you have an opportunity to meet new people. If you work all day and go home and sit in front of the TV, the likely hood of meeting someone is very slim.
- Keep dreaming.Don’t move into doubt. This needs to be a conscious decision. When doubt creeps in, speak to it and say, “Nope, doubt you are not going to rob me of my dream. I’m going to stand strong believing for it.”
If you have determined that this is not a dream you want to hold onto, then let it go but replace it with another dream. Don’t just live life existing. Live life to the fullest of what God created you to be and what He desires you to have.
Dream another dream!!!
Love and blessings,
Your Spiritual Life and Health Coach … believing in you!